The one advantage I had in this fight was my other daughter Natalie. One one hand I had Natalie well mannered and kind. On the other was Natasha a sweet, but a very temperamental child. They were twins so how could they be such polar opposites. I did everything right from the beginning. I never smoked or drank during my pregnancy with them. They had a low birth weight, but other then that perfect. In there young years they loved each other so much. Natalie was the caregiver and thinking she was the Mom most of time. Natasha was all about herself and what made her happy. Natalie had know issues giving in to make her sister happy.
After kindergarten was done they were off to a new school. I felt is was a fresh start with all new teachers. That I hoped were not going to judge me like the other school teachers did. Natasha's temperament continued. As first grade progressed It was next to impossible for her and I to do homework. Doing a simple problem 2+2 was next to impossible for her. I just couldn't get why is it not clicking for her. By mid-term the teachers and I sat down to discuss what a hard time she was having. I supported the tests they suggested. So by the end of the year she went through a batter of academic skills test. I remember sitting down and the counselor said "in all my thirty years doing this I never met anyone like her." Which amused me, she was unique. She went on to say. "She cooperated very well, however when I was done she asked how me how does this apply to my life." We were both floored because how could a 7 year old come up with a response like that. She was put onto individual tutoring sessions because she was clearly not understanding the work. The conclusion we came up with how she went through the last 3 years of school with out any noticing is because. Her sister was quiet, however her sister was finding her name tag and helping her with her work. She never had to try hard with her sister around.
Through her elementary years she was deemed as a sweet and hard working child at school. Those years are the years I told myself as long as her fits do not effect school I will not medicate her. At school she was struggling to say the least, but thriving socially. At home it was a nightmare. Her fits were off the charts. She would not stay in time out. She would act as if there was no consequences to her actions. She could repeat the same thing over and over and expect different results. My mother always said " you were no treat when you were her age either." I remember growing up I was from a divorced home. At the time I never cared much for either of my step-parents. I did act out I would not deny this. One thing I would point out to my mother. I would not hit you. I would not tell you I hated you. I knew the consequences of my actions I would just choose to disobey even though I knew what followed. It never got to the point I had to be restrained for hours at a time. My child was out of control. I remember the abuse I suffered from just a eight year old. She would hit me do hard I thought for sure one time she broke my arm. She was extremely strong much stronger then her sister. Those early years I just dealt with it best I could. She was still growing who knows she may out grow this. It helped to see her twin how kind and caring she was. I felt I clearly was raising them right look at Natalie. This would eventually get better. I always told myself " I can deal with this as long as it doesn't effect school.
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