First diagnosis

              The summer before 6th grade was a very big struggle for her. She always had sensory issues and OCD tendencies, along with her fits. It was a summer day and I was looking at her trying to figure out what was going on in her mind. I noticed something, or something that was missing. My 10 year old daughter pulled all of her eyelashes out. I was horrified, shocked, and scared. I knew now this is not normal, she was not getting better, and it was time to act. She explained to me she was nervous and she was making wishes on them. I found this to be a very odd response. Why would she do this to herself.
              I set up a doctors appointment. We talked and she decided this was anxiety and put her on Zoloft. At the time Zoloft seemed to help her not pull out her eyelashes. When she took it I saw another side even more terrifying then before she was on meds. Late one night she had a major hissy fit, about what I don't even remember. She was kicking her wall nothing uncommon there. I heard a smash she put her foot on purpose through her window and sliced her ankle. So the next day I brought her back to the doctor. I came to find out rage can be a side effect of the drug. She pulled her off it and recommended a mental illness doctor.
              Our first appointment the doctor diagnosed her with bipolar. Gave her lithium and sent her on her way. The months that followed were great. She was well mannered and was able to concentrate better. I believed we had the right diagnosis and everything would be fine. After 3 months I saw a major change in her. She was no longer a sweet and eccentric child. She became a zombie. She found pleasure in nothing and just went through the motions of living. Overall the doctor was very impressed with her progress. I noticed her fears were growing she was telling me she saw things and heard voices. The doctor wrote that off with her being to young which I could understand.
              Four months into her meds she had a major fight with her Step-father "which she knew as her only father." She had a fight with her Dad. She went upstairs and wrote on her cork board. Devil Dad, Devil Dad over and over again. Then she drew a picture of out family with pins stabbed in our hearts. I was terrified was this just bipolar symptom, or something else. I let her calm down then talked to her. She explained to me she hates the meds when she take them the pictures in her mind are clear. She did not remember writing any of the things she wrote. She just remembered someone telling her to do it. As a mother I was shocked and confused where do we go from here. I looked into her eyes and could see the fear in her eyes. It wasn't just a kid trying to get out of taking medicine. She was clearly terrified of what was going on in her head. I decided with out doctors advice I took her off meds completely. I was willing to have her as she is not just a shell of what the meds left me. It would be three more years until she saw another doctor.